Delazan's Meander

Here at the I Can Has Cheezburger office we take the Cat Distribution System™ very seriously. After all, how else can you explain the meowgical moment a random cat shows up at your doorstep, stares into your soul, and decides you're now their hooman?

When one kind hooman shared how they found a lone kitten outside their home and simply said to themselves "Well… now we have six cats", it struck a chord. Because let's be honest, cats don't ask - they just arrive. And you don't adopt them - cats adopt you.

We went around our cat-pilled office and asked: "How did the Cat Distribution System choose you?" Here's what we heard from our fellow cat pawrent:

1. "She walked in through the window, curled up on my laundry, and never left."
2. "I found him sleeping on my car's hood. He screamed at me until I opened the door. Now he screams for snacks."
3. "I said I didn't want a cat. Then she jumped into my lap at the shelter and started purring. I was wrong."
4. "My dog brought him home. Like literally carried him into the house. They've been inseparable ever since."
5. "I fed one stray. Now the neighborhood cat council meets on my porch daily."

The Cat Distribution System works in mysterious (and hilarious) ways, and we're so glad it does. Do you love to hear about wholesome cat adoptions? Because you've arrived in the right place.

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.

You know, feline fam, the CDS is pretty darn smart. Sometimes it delivers the cats right to you, sometimes it places them in purrfectly convenient places for you to find them, and now, they're even employing doggos to deliver them straight to your arms. Long gone are the days of cats and dogs being mortal enemies - even doggos understand now (well, at least some do) that you can't turn your snout away from a lonely kitten in need. Especially not one that is lost in the forest!

While on one of their normal hikes, an adorable Akita doggo alerted her pawrent to something unusual. She ran out and came back with a furry surprise in her mouth! It turned out to be a tiny black kitten, covered in fleas, and hungry. The two took her home, bathed her, got her checked up, and decided to make their home her furrever home. Well, according to the video, the Akita decided that she would be her new sister after their first snuggle session. Watch the wholesome rescue video below!

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.

Let's face it, one of the best things about having workplace besties is that you can be petty together. Because what is office life without complaining about Brad's coffee breath, sniggering about Karen's car crash fashion sense, and of course spreading salacious rumors about everyone in the office (between yourselves, of course).

So we wanted to get in on the action and help you take your collective pettiness to new heights with the help of the pettiest animal to walk this planet, the humble house cat. Known for throwing fits when dinner is mere minutes late, holding grudges and worst of all, looking straight into your eyes as they push your prized possessions onto the floor. So grab your petty crew and gather round for this list of petty cat memes. Just note that we do not take any responsibility for the ideas you might get from this list and will not be held responsible if you end up getting fired. Be petty at your own risk. 

You know, silly as it may sound, we often hear about cats breaking up relationships. Over weird reasons sometimes. Like people unable to handle being "second" to the cat in relationships, or people telling their partners that it's either them or the cat, or - and this one is really weird - people calling their partners unhygienic because of their cats, because apparently, kissing your cat on the forehead is gross or something equally as silly. 

We've seen cats break up relationships. We have yet to see a cat actively participate in someone taking revenge over a breakup. Until today. Today, we saw it for the first time. A woman who got cheated on decided to get back at her now-ex by stealing his X-box… and letting her cat have her way with it. And although the cat did not actively choose to participate in this situation, she sure as heck looked very happy about the new scratcher that she got. 

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.

Six months ago, we were wrapped in sweaters at our desks, desperately Googling "heated blankets for office chairs" and cursing the HVAC system that turned every office into a walk-in fridge. Back then, we were practically begging for summer — sunshine, warmth, the sweet smell of SPF 50 in the air.

Well. Summer heard us. Loud and clear.

This heatwave came out of nowhere. One minute, we were still wearing light jackets, thinking summer might skip us entirely, and the next, we had scorching sidewalks, frizzy hair, and that awful moment you realized your back was sweaty just from standing still. And while we're out here debating if we can get away with working from inside the refrigerator, there's one group that isn't suffering in the slightest: indoor cats.

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.

Getting through the work week can feel like chasing a laser pointer. Always just out of reach but too purrsuasive to quit. Like a clever kitty, the trick is to take it one paw-step at a time. When Monday tries to swat you down, stretch those claws, shake off the catnap fuzz, and pounce right back in.

Remember, even the most focused feline knows when to curl up and catnap. Short breaks are your secret weapon. Time to recharge those batteries and sharpen your claws for the next big leap.

Don't let the midweek blues make you hiss or growl. Keep your whiskers twitching and your eyes on the prize. Whether it's a coffee break or a quick paws and play, a little fun keeps your spirits light and your tail high.

Before you know it, you'll be sliding into Friday like a cat chasing a sunbeam. Ready to lounge, purr, and soak up some well-earned R&R in your favorite sunny spot.

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here. 

This family drama is really causing some serious cattitude! This daughter's allergy to her sister's kitty has turned family visits into a real furball of conflict. Her allergic reactions have worsened over time, making visits to their parents' house a sneezy, itchy ordeal. The twist? Cat allergens can linger like a stubborn furball for months, forcing some tough choices: either medicate daily (which is costly and complicated) or set clear boundaries.

Despite her efforts to politely ask her sister not to bring the feline during visits, the sister refuses to kennel her cat and won't consider any alternatives, purring back that it's easier if the daughter simply stays away. To add insult to injury, the parents have allowed the cat to come over anyway, leaving their daughter feeling left out in the cold like a lonely stray.

The daughter wonders if asking for a little compromise is too much or just common sense. Family love is strong, but sometimes you have to claw back your own well-being. Maybe it's time for a little paws and reflect. While every cat deserves a calm home, so does every human!

Your inbox deserves hissterical cat content. We deliver. Weekly. Subscribe here.